4 unhappy blogs, and then at least one happy one... I LOVE HOME! haha no tests next week, feeling good.. though exams are coming, let me enjoy this short reprieve for a while ok? =)

ql throws confetti in the air, before i even said anything concrete.. but the truth is, we've never left each other what. he is always there, and this time round, i promise to try harder, not to be a pessimist, not to give up on our love so easily. we'll make it to the altar.. haha, save harder!

happy happy happy happy happy happy happy YAY!~!

i feel comfortable at home. safe too. knowing that my dad is around, think hard to find anyone who gives me a greater sense of security than him. i know he will protect me, and do everything in his power to lessen my stress. does anybody of you not know how much i love my dad? haha

home again.. stayed only one night in hall. haha after lab ends, i think i will commute daily. i sleep better at home, without fear of oversleeping, dont have to lock door before going toilet. haha

exams are coming! ar!

cheer up hong! n get well soon ql!

caught in the midst of the rush hour today, left wondering what all people are rushing to.. work? study? what for? in the end we all have to die, wont we? if to maintain our existence on Earth is so hard, and we cause so much trouble to mother nature, why do we have to reproduce more devils to ruin the earth? aiya, die earlier is better la, suffer for a shorter time too..

and i'm just one insignificant individual of the rat pack... dun think i slept well these few days. tired out.

didnt know you meant so much to me, until times of fatigue. dont wanna treat you for granted ever again.. 20 months together hasnt been easy, thanks for not giving up on me=)

can everyday be a weekend? can i get married to be tai-tai? got chauffeur got maid, do nothing but shopping watch tv and sleeping?

why i so ambitionless all of a sudden? where has my courage run away to?

amitabha,amen. ql ask me pray to pass.. haha

mummy is right, i cant afford to lose. i dont like the feeling of losing out, when i know i am definitely capable of victory. but my willpower and heart are weak. sigh.

feel like cursing, but what good can it do, except to tarnish my already non-existent image? but the alternative is to cry... in the middle of the night, when helplessness and despair overwhelms me.

never had such a feeling of doom as now. haiz. really gonna fail le la.. spectacularly too. haha back to the kind of situation when i study will fall asleep.. starting to be tired liao, even without touching anything. sey!

going home on monday, wednesday, friday. haha i should stop staying hall.. but lecture at 830am daunts me! haha

will i get my surprise be unveiled tmr? haha lalala...home beckons!!!!!

yay~! change skin to cheer myself up, and ask myself to have faith in love. haha =p

P & A chem sucks. all the more i am determined to pass it this time so i dont do it again next yr! ROAR!!!~!!!

ill, and not getting well yet. feel like coming home everyday, but the 830am classes deter me..

meatballs that ate manhattan are nice! but i'm getting fat!

i miss u...

not in the mood to blog, with three tests coming up in the week ahead. P n A chem, bio n phys. kill me, pls i implore..

e last lap of the journey isnt easy...

HAIYO! HAIYO!

had a minor accident yday. i'm not the driver, and everybody's ok. just that freddie's car had to be fixed, sorry ql! haha=p

hoping for this week to be over, i'm just taking each day as it comes. sian. but as the week passes, we'll be one week closer to P&A chem as well as bio tests. and not to mention a week closer to exams.

second class honours-possible?

ps not depressed or anything, juz voicing tots

is anybody blogging? why does it seem that hols is actually tiring everyone out? one week break isnt enough! primary sch to jc, study ten weeks then one week break, doesnt seem as tiring as now..when we only study 8 weeks!

lab report done, chi presentation left to go! haiz.

more driving lessons coming up!

dinner on sat at crystal jade, feeling was ok. dont really expect alot anymore. but they remembered my birthday, touched.

peaceful 19th birthday. shell leen weeinn yinjie hong came my house and stuck 19 candles on a seafood pizza. haha nice of them to accomodate my lazy wish not to step out of my house. haha love them! =)

had dinner at new park hotel with my family last night. realised that we've not gone out for dinner for quite a long time le. haha home food to me is already heaven! haha buffet dinner! so fattening.. =p

lunched with gen today, caught up and took photos.. birthdays always make me think, what will i do without these great friends?

had my first birthday celebration yesterday,albeit a very short one... haha those 3 sweet lil morons bought a cake, and we ate the whole thing up within 20 minutes.. haha love them! =p

recess is finally here!!! =D nothing more needs to be said!

ql ask me blog.. but i got nothing to say, studied today, at library! haha kinda nice..

ate zi char at city harvest for dinner, not too bad..

tired, but got chinese presentation to do. and the two tests! omg. haiz

12th will be spent at home with the gers.. actually i really juz wanna slp, but their good intentions hw can refuse?

happy tat evan's happy.. haha yay~!

tot alot in e shower. tired. why hols not here yet? why do lecturers hafta torment us lidat? two tests in final wk! boo! =(

this entry will be posted only when i think no one will see it. right now, i just wanna clear my thoughts..

everybody see me, inevitably wanna know the same thing. how are we? i know they mean well.. but it makes me confused.. am i doing the right thing?

when we were together, the pressure from my parents made me feel extremely cornered.. i want to do well for studies too.. and to me, i can do it better without commitment to him. but now i dont think so. i think i can do studies as well as relationship.. but definitely i cant do it with my parents in the picture.. perhaps i should go underground and in the dark? but not fair to him what..

wants me to be happy. makes me happy. but i hurt him. i want to hold him close, but i'm scared i will wanna push him away again. dont want him to always be there, when all i do is hurt him all along. dont want him to be sacrificed for other things in the eyes of this selfish pig. roar..

thoughts in turmoil.

i dun wanna celeb my bday. nt tt i'm scared tt nx yr on i'll start to be twenty sth, but this yr all i wanna do is really juz slack at hm, slp on bed roll ard, read a bk watch tv.

but i noe it's not possible.. cos i haf frens who wanna celeb my bdae wif me. haha n leen wans to treat us...

e tot of one wk recess is e only thing keepin me moving thru the tot of 2 tests, both of which i think i will fail

oh well.i wan break!nth else matters

mind in chaos. not really in e mood to study. but i gotta.

choose... wad do i wan?

i dunno......

endless road..

the truth is tearing up my heart_i cant recognise this place_the endless road without a stop sign_cant even find a stranger this time
why am i still holding back my tears_in this loneliness there's nothing to fear_every chord still seems a wonder_how we could be together_everytime i ask if this would be the last
why am i still talking to myself_hoping you will have the keys to my cell_every song might calm the weather_but it just draws me deeper_how do i get out of this_i think i never will
a crystal forming in the eye_maybe this would be the last_the winding path down my face_till i begin to taste the bitterness inside

the tune was made for the english lyrics..dont you think?

i'm gonna enjoy a wkend wif my hp off. hu cares hu is looking for mi? home is heaven! hahaha though today there's an uncomfortable silence..

i'm unreasonable. i noe tt. i cant change, cos i'm lidat. so sorry.

anything compared to hall internet is fast. haha

the whereabouts of the lizard from weeks ago is now known, it has been dead for at least two weeks behind my stationery drawer. and it stinks! not to mention disgusting! !#$^%$^#&*!

had a very happening day yesterday..! haha every fri the 4 of us crazy morons would just be thinking of places to go things to do, might as well dont go lecture la..

1030 we got 4 hour break, and.... we went kbox at lot 1! sang for three hours, inclusive lunch, but e lunch sucks. haha it was fun~!! didnt know they are also so cute, imageless.. think this is why we are so anti-others..

after school i studied with mindan at library,but i didnt get much in.. and all too soon, those morons decided to skip lecture, and we were off to cineleisure for movie! RED EYE. i cant remember the last time i was at orchard. haha so sad huh? but during the movie, we were very nervous, keep patting each other's arm and speculating what's gonna happen. quite funny la.. and after the thriller, we were all too high! so we decided to catch another movie-the longest yard. this show is too funny le, laugh until we three stomachache ar! nearly too high go watch another movie, but if so, i dont think we would have reached home before dawn..

a late night out always make me feel my parents as well as brother's worry..i am incapable of taking care of myself at the age of 19? felt guilty, angry, but also gratitude.. i think my brother must have contacted at least three of my friends to locate me.. a late night out= being irresponsible? i think i'm too guai, for late nights out to be unusual and highly worrying.. but then again, i'm always so guai, one late night out is not ok? haiya..

anyway, reached home after 2, freddie drove us back.. nice guy.. haha and together with joycelyn and sharon(who didnt go orchard), they are great company. thank god i know them.. haha =p

ps.. e stink lingers. puke*